[fic] Cinderken: The Musical 2/4

[caffeine_buzz]

Title: Cinderken: The Musical 2/4
Fandom: Digimon 02
Rating: PG
Pairings/Warnings: Kensuke, various other things, crack, crack & more crack
Previous Parts: 1

Meanwhile, at the house of CinderKen, the family has just arrived at home. Yamato, Hikari, and Sora walk slowly to the door, stop, and all turn around slowly.

Yamato: CinderKen! The door!

Ken: (Grumbling) You can’t open it yourself?

Yamato: CinderKen!

Ken: All right, all right, I’m opening the door.

Yamato: (Sighing as he walks in) CinderKen! My mirror!

Sora: CinderKen, my hat!

Hikari: CinderKen, my gloves!

Yamato: CinderKen, have you dusted the rafters yet?

Ken: I’ve been a little busy today. Remember? I was carrying all your stuff.

Yamato: Don’t be impertinent, CinderKen. After your brother died, I could have just thrown you out in the street, you know. I’ve kept you here all these years and this is the thanks I get? (Sighs) Well, I’ve always been told I have a big heart. And gorgeous hair. And a to-die-for figure.

Sora: Father, you’ve got a big heart!

Hikari: And gorgeous hair!

Ken: I’m not saying a word about your figure.

Yamato: Hmmph. Come, girls, we’ll take our tea upstairs. I need my beauty rest for tomorrow when we go to Taichi--I mean, the ball. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.

Sora: I’m tired too.

Hikari: You’re tired?

Sora: What did I just say?

Ken: Um....Stepfather?

Yamato: What now?

Ken: Well, I, uh, I heard that all the eligible men in the kingdom were invited to the ball as well, and I was wondering...

Yamato: I suppose you think that the prince is going to take one look at you and fall madly in love. Humph! Take my advice, CinderKen, and be happy with what you’ve got. Now, come along girls! I need to teach you the finer points of using hair gel!

Sora: CinderKen, hot water!

Hikari: CinderKen, warm milk!

The three march upstairs. Ken stares after him, a longing look on his face. He heads into the kitchen, mimicking his stepsisters.

Ken: ‘CinderKen, hot water. CinderKen, warm milk. CinderKen, non-toxic hair gel.’ What am I, their slave?

There is a scuffling noise, and then Minomon comes out of his hiding place to greet Ken. He is followed by Chibimon, Upamon, and Poromon.

Minomon: CinderKen-chan, it’s you! We were worried that it might be one of the others.

Ken: You should be more careful. You know that Stepfather thinks Digimon are vermin.

Chibimon: What’s a vermin? Is it good to eat?

Ken: (Shrugs) Depends on if you like that sort of thing.

Poromon: You look upset.

Minomon: Is anything wrong, CinderKen-chan?

Ken: No....well, yes. The prince is having a ball, and I can’t go. (He stares off into the distance longingly, thinking about the boy he met in the marketplace.)

Upamon: What’s a ball? Is it like the balls you throw?

Ken: It’s a party. But it doesn’t matter, I can’t go anyway. Stepfather forbids it.

I’m as mild and meek as a mouse

Minomon:

But you’re lethal with a broom!

Ken:

But I know of a spot in my house

All my own, like my own little room.

In my own little corner, in my own little chair.

He turns to sit, but Chibimon is already occupying said chair. Ken grimaces and picks him up by the scruff of the neck.

Ken:

I can be whatever I want to be

On the wings of my fancy I can fly

Anywhere and the world will open

it’s arms to me.

I’m a nubile Egyptian prince

With my very own Digimon slaves

I’m the greatest prima-donna in Milan

I’m an heir who has always had his

Silk made by his own flock of

silk-worms in Japan.

Poromon: Aren’t we already in Japan?

Ken:

I’m the boy boys go mad for

Love’s a game I can play

With a cool and confident air

Just as long as I stay in my own little corner

All alone in my own little chair.

Upamon: Not alone!

Sora: (From upstairs) CinderKen, we’re thirsty!

Yamato: (From upstairs)CinderKen, bring my hair gel!

Ken:

I can be whatever I want to be

I’m a Digimon in a village

I’m a pirate on the sea

And I’m prepared to pillage.

I’m a hunter on a Digital safari

It’s a dangerous type of sport

And yet it’s fun

In the night I sally-forth to seek

My quarry and I find

I forgot to bring my Minomon.

Minomon: I’ll save you!

Ken: Shh! (He and Minomon start stalking slowly up the stairs.)

We are lost in the jungle all alone

And unarmed when we meet a Leomon

in his lair!

Chibimon jumps up behind them and roars. Ken grabs Minomon and dashes back into the kitchen, sinking into his chair with Minomon in his arms.

Ken:

Then I’m glad to be back

In my own little corner

All alone, in my own little chair.

He cuddles Minomon as a lone tear runs down his cheek. He’s so lonely...

Yamato, Sora, and Hikari: (From upstairs) CinderKen!

Ken: (Sighs) Coming!

Meanwhile, back at the palace...

Daisuke: Mother!

Mimi: Yes, dear?

Daisuke: I refuse to come to the ball! You have to call it off!

Jyou: We can’t. We’ve already paid the caterers.

Mimi: What’s wrong with the ball anyway? You were so excited before!

Daisuke: It’s the ballroom. It’s all....pink.

Mimi: I like pink!

Daisuke: Yeah, but no guys are gonna like it. I think you’re just trying to get me to marry a girl.

Mimi: Nonsense. I’ll make you a deal. If you don’t find anyone tonight, boy or girl, I’ll leave you alone about marriage. Is that okay?

Daisuke: All right. I need to go get ready. Taichi took my goggles while I was asleep and I need to get them back.

Taichi: (Walking by) They were mine in the first place!

Daisuke: Taichi! Give them back! I order you, and you have to listen to me because I’m the prince!

Taichi: You’ll have to catch me first! (Runs off clutching the precious goggles. Daisuke goes running after them.)

Jyou: Don’t run in the palace! You could sprain an ankle!

Back at CinderKen’s house, Sora and Hikari are preparing for the ball. Yamato is preparing for Taichi, while showing the girls how one properly applies hair gel.

Yamato: All it takes is a little dab here and there, girls. Not too much or you’ll damage your hair. With just the right amount of gel, you’ll be the envy of the ball.

Sora: You really think so? Ow! (Ken has been ‘helping’ by pulling her corset tighter and tighter.)

Ken: Hold your breath or I won’t be able to get this thing on.

Sora: Ow! You’re hurting me, you idiot!

Yamato: Silence, Sora! Beauty knows no pain. Do you think I was born this beautiful? Well, actually, I was, but you weren’t that lucky, I’m afraid.

Ken: Deep breath now! (Pulls the corset as tight as possible. Sora starts to turn blue. Meanwhile, Hikari is snickering madly.)

Yamato: If I’ve done my job right, then there’s no reason the prince shouldn’t pick one of you for his bride. Then I will be free to work my wiles upon Taichi.

Sora: (Trying hard to breathe through the corset) I’m going to start by fluttering my eyelashes.

Hikari: I’m going to start with a curtsy.

Yamato: Good, good! (He turns to the mirror and begins fixing his hair some more)

Sora: I’m going to start with a curtsy, too!

Yamato: Oh, yes. Perfect. (He is ignoring the girls and talking to his reflection, but neither girl notices.)

Hikari: I’m going to flutter my eyelashes.

Yamato: Ooh, lovely.

Sora: I’m going to flutter too!

Yamato: So perfect....so wonderful...

Sora: And to show the prince that there’s more to me than beauty, I’m going to recite a poem.

Yamato: Amazing...

Hikari: I have been working on my infectious laughter. I’m going to laugh infectiously at whatever the prince says! (She gives an utterly fake giggle. Meanwhile, Ken is hiding his face with his hands and trying hard not to laugh himself.)

Yamato: So smooth....so blond....

Sora: Father, are you listening to us?

Yamato: Not now, girls, I’m looking at my hair. So lovely...

Hikari: We just have to remember...

Sora: ....To hide all our faults....

Both: Until after the wedding! (They laugh.)

Ken: But shouldn’t the prince love you in spite of everything?

Sora and Hikari turn around reeeeeal slowly and glare at him.

Sora: And how would you capture the prince, CinderKen?

Ken: Well, first, I would tell him never to call me that. Whatever else we said, he’d know we were meant for each other. Then he’d run his hands through my hair and kiss me full on the lips...

Hikari: So romantic!

Sora: Tell it again, but with smutty details!

Yamato: Girls! This isn’t an Internet porn site! We’re not talking about love, we’re talking about marriage! And more importantly, we’re talking about Taichi!

Falling in love with Taichi is

Falling in love with lies!

Falling in love with Taichi

Is an experience that opens your eyes!

Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy

Learning to trust is just for children

in school.

I fell in love with Taichi one night

when the moon was full

I was unwise with eyes unable to see!

I fell in love with Taichi, love-everlasting

Then Taichi broke up with me!

Sora & Hikari:

Falling in love with Taichi is

Falling in love with lies!

Falling in love with Taichi

Is an experience that opens your eyes!

Yamato:

Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy

Sora & Hikari:

Learning to trust is just for children

in school.

I fell in love with Taichi one night

when the moon was full

I was unwise with eyes unable to see!

All three:

I fell in love with Taichi,

Love ever-lasting.

Yamato:

But that slut kissed Izzy!

The three head off for the ball. Ken rolls his eyes and waves to them as they leave. Then he turns and walks back into the kitchen. He sinks down in his chair and the Digimon come to comfort him.

Poromon: Who needs a ball?

Chibimon: You’ve got us!

Upamon: We’ll play with you!

Minomon: Shh! CinderKen-chan, do you want us to leave?

Ken: No...no, it’s all right. (Sighs) Go to the ball? Me? Why would I want to go to the ball? I’d much rather sit here with you four. (He tries to smile, but it is obviously fake.)

Minomon: (Concerned) CinderKen-chan?

Ken:

In my own little corner,

In my own little chair

I can be whatever I want to be

On the wings of my fancy

I can fly anywhere

And the world will open its arms to me.

I am in the Royal Palace of all places

I am chatting with the Prince and King and Queen

And the color on my two stepsisters’ faces

Is a queer sort of sour-apple green

I am coy and kind of kinky when alone with the prince

I’m the belle of the ball

In my own little corner (his voice breaks as he starts to cry)

All alone, in my own...little....chair...

Ken tries to wipe away his tears, but they keep coming. Minomon and Chibimon sit in his lap and nuzzle him.

Ken: I wish I could go to the ball! I wish!

Two mysterious voices are heard from above.

Voices:

Falder-ra and Fideldy Dee

Fiddeldy Faddaly Fadle

All the wishes in the world are

poppy-cock and twaddle

Ken: What? Who’s there? If you’re a burglar, I swear I’ll come at you with a kitchen knife!

Takeru: Is that any way to talk to your Fairy Godbrothers?

Ken: Uh....excuse me?

There is a flash of light and Takeru and Iori appear, wearing shiny, sequin-y outfits and carrying wands. Iori looks a little annoyed, but Takeru is smiling vacantly. He’s still wearing his Gilligan hat, and he has one arm wrapped around Iori’s waist.

Ken: You?

Takeru: What were you expecting, girls?

Iori: All the Godmothers were busy. We’re just the fill-ins.

Takeru: But you look so cute in that outfit, Iori-chan!

Ken: (Rolling his eyes) Hoo boy. What did I do to deserve this? I never dreamed...

Takeru:

Falder-ra and Fideldy Dee

Fiddeldy Faddaly Foodle

All the dreamers in the world are....

dizzy in the noodle!

Ken: That’s terrible.

Iori: I agree. Let me make the rhymes up next time, Takeru-kun.

Ken: Not that! Well, yes, that, but not only that. What you said about dreams.

Takeru: I’m cold. What’s say we snuggle to keep warm, Iori-chan?

Iori: Takeru-kun, we have a job to do here. (He waves his wand and the fire starts.)

Chibimon: Wow! How’d he do that?

Iori: (Shrugs) Practice.

Ken: You know, I’ve always dreamed that someone would take me away from here.

Takeru: CinderKen--

Ken: Don’t call me that!

Takeru: Touchy. Ken, if you want to get out of here, you’re going to have to do that yourself. The music’s in you, deep down in your soul. Once you find it, nothing can keep you from walking out of here.

Ken: Have you met my Stepfather?

Iori: That’s beside the point.

Takeru: You know what Yamato’s problem is? He can’t handle the fact that you’re prettier than him!

Ken: Me?

Takeru: Do you see anyone else in this room? (Ken points to the four Digimon.) Besides them.

Ken: I can’t go. I promised Osamu that we’d all stay together as a family. And where would I go? I have no money, no property, no special skills besides cooking and cleaning...

Takeru: Stop that! There is no room for practicality in a fairy tale!

Ken: Well excuse me for being logical. Though I have dreamt of leaving so many times...

Iori: The problem is, so many people dream things and never do anything about those dreams.

Ken: I wish....though I guess wishing is no good either, is it?

Iori: Everything starts with a wish.

Ken: You know what I was wishing for tonight?

Takeru: That one of those big pumpkins would become a golden carriage and take you to the ball?

Ken: No, actually. I was wishing for a million dollars. But I know what you’d say in any case. What was it again?

‘Fal-der-al and fidel-dy dee’

Takeru:

Fidaldy Fadeldy Foodle.

Ken: You’re right, it’s impossible.

Takeru:

Impossible! For a plain yellow pumpkin

to become a golden carriage.

Impossible! For a plain country bumpkin

and a prince to join in marriage.

(He wraps his arms back around Iori’s waist and moves in for a kiss)

And four in-trainings will never become

Four strong rookies!

Iori:

Takeru, this is no time for nookies!

Takeru:

Impossible!

But the world is full of zanies and fools!

Who don't believe in sensible rules.

And won't believe what sensible people say

And because these daft and doey-eyed dopes

Keep building up impossible hopes,

Impossible things are happening every day!

Ken:

Impossible

Takeru:

Impossible

Ken:

Impossible

Iori:

Impossible

All three:

Impossible!

Takeru and Iori lead Ken outside into the pumpkin patch. The four Digimon follow curiously after.

Ken: Wait a sec. If impossible things are happening every day, then why shouldn’t I have dreams? Why can’t I have an impossible dream of going to the ball?

Takeru: Figured it out, huh? You’re not as stupid as you look.

Ken: Shut up, Gilligain.

Iori: Do you two mind? Anyway, CinderKen, you can go to the ball. No one’s stopping you but you.

Ken: I have no way to get there, not to mention no snazzy outfits to wear.

Takeru: Leave that to me! (He touches his wand to a pumpkin. It turns into a beautiful carriage.) Now, we need something to pull it. (His eyes alight on the Digimon.) Perfect!

Takeru waves his wand and the four Digimon digivolve. Chibimon becomes V-Mon, Poromon becomes Hawkmon, Upamon becomes Armadimon, and Minomon becomes Wormmon. Takeru hitches them up to the carriage.

V-Mon: I have a bad feeling about this.

Ken: I still need something to wear.

Takeru: Don’t worry, I’ve got the perfect outfit. (He touches Ken with his wand. There is a flash of light, and then Ken is wearing his Digimon Kaiser outfit, complete with neat hair and cool glasses.)

Ken: (Looking at his reflection in the carriage window) Damn! I’m one sexy bitch, aren’t I? Hey, what’s this? (Pulls a whip out of his belt and smiles evilly.) Ooh, I’ve always wanted one of these! (There is a collective sweatdrop from the others.)

Iori: Okay, you’d better get going. You have to be back by midnight.

Ken: Midnight? That’s no time at all!

Takeru: The magic only lasts until midnight. Sorry ‘bout that.

Ken: Hmmph. How do you expect me to get any decent usage out of this whip if I only get until midnight?

Takeru and Iori exchange glances and sweatdrop.

Iori: I don’t think that outfit was such a good idea....

Ken: I suppose I should head off for the palace now. (He climbs into the carriage and cracks his whip.) Okay, you Digimon! Put your backs into it!

Wormmon: Whatever you say, CinderKen-chan!

There is the sound of a whip cracking.

Ken: Don’t call me CinderKen!

Wormmon: Sir, yes, sir!

The Digimon begin running. Ken leans back in the carriage as Takeru and Iori fly along beside him.

Ken:

It’s possible! For a plain yellow pumpkin

To become a golden carriage

It’s possible! For a plain country bumpkin

And a prince to join in marriage

Iori:

And four in-trainings easily become

Four strong rookies!

Takeru:

C’mon, Iori, I want nookies!

Takeru & Iori:

It’s possible!

Ken:

For the world is full of idiots and fools

Takeru:

Who don’t believe in sensible rules

Iori:

And won’t believe what sensible people say

All:

And because these daft and dewy-eyed dopes

Keep building up impossible hopes,

Impossible things are happening everyday.

Ken:

It’s possible!

Takeru:

It’s possible!

Armadimon: We get the picture already!

All:

It’s possible!

Hawkmon: Easy for them to sing and be happy, they don’t have to pull the carriage!

V-Mon: (Panting) Preach it, brother!