[fic]Mizu-Kagami 8/9

[caffeine_buzz]

Title: Mizu-Kagami 8/9
Fandom: Digimon 02
Rating: K+
Pairings/Warnings: Kensuke
Previous Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Daisuke stared, his mind reeling. Kagami had come. Kagami had saved him, him and Ken. But why had he come? And how had he arrived without Ken’s D-3 to open the gate?

Duh, stupid! Daisuke mentally berated himself. The Digiports were opened when Gennai opened the Dark Gate. Ken used the one in his room a lot, especially when he was the Kaiser. So the gate in his computer must’ve been opened too. And I told him we were going after the Guardian!

So there’s the question : is he here to help us fight......or to make sure that Ken stays trapped in the lake?

“So my other lost lamb has come home,” hissed the Guardian. Its eyes focused on Kagami and then traveled over to the shivering form of Ken. “Both my children are here now. Perhaps I shall have a very long meal, indeed.”

“I....” Kagami paused, then looked over at Daisuke. “I have come to help you, Daisuke. If I do this thing, then I will have an experience of my own, yes? Then I will not be nothing. I will make my own form and my own name. My memories shall be my own. You will have your Ken back and I will be free. Will we all be happy then?”

“Hopefully,” Daisuke said, glancing back at the Guardian, who was watching them with interest, its fangs exposed.

“Fools, all of you,” it said. “No one will leave this lake alive. This is my domain you play in now, and I am an entity far beyond your ability to defeat.” With that proclamation, it shot another beam of ice from its mouth. The beam hit Silphymon, and the Digimon slammed hard into the dirt.

“Silphymon!” Hikari rushed to the Digimon’s side, while Miyako glanced helplessly back at Ken and Daisuke.

“We can’t do this by ourselves!” she said. “We need Imperialdramon! What’s taking you two so long?”

“I’m working on it!” Daisuke shouted back.

“Seven minutes,” Iori reminded him darkly, glancing at his watch.

“I said, I’m working on it!” Daisuke snapped at Iori. Then he turned his attention to Ken. “Come on, Ken, remember. You’ve got to.”

“There’s nothing to remember,” Ken said morosely. “I don’t have any memories. I’m--”

“Not nothing!” Daisuke cut him off. “You’re my friend and my partner. Our hearts beat together when we jogressed, remember? Remember how there was that light, and how we were connected? You said you remembered my name. Do you remember my heartbeat?”

“I-I-“ Ken shook his head. “I don’t. I feel like I should….but I don’t. I don’t remember any of this. Only….only you.”

“That’s not enough. We can’t win without your help. If you don’t at least try to remember, then we’ll all be dead.” Daisuke forced Ken to look him in the face. “You have to think. You-you like me, right Ken? Do you remember that?”

“I….” Ken closed his eyes, and the words came out before he could stop to wonder where they had come from. “I love you.”

There was a silence, then Ken gasped softly and put a hand to his mouth.

“If you love me, then you’ll help me,” Daisuke said gravely, putting his hand over the D-3 still sitting in Ken’s palm. “If you can make Wormmon evolve, it’ll keep the Guardian from killing me. You want to protect me, don’t you?”

“I-I do.” Ken looked curiously up at Daisuke. “How did you know?”

“Because I love you too,” Daisuke said simply. “And because I love you, I want to protect you more than anything.”

“Then…..then I will protect you.” Ken’s face became determined. “Without my memories, you’re the only thing I have. And I will protect you!” As he spoke, the D-3 started to glow.

“Wormmon shinka….Stingmon!”

“Yes!” Daisuke jumped to his feet as Stingmon flew towards the battle. “I knew you could do it, Ken, I knew it! Now we just need to jogress and-“

“Jogress?” Ken spoke the word as if hearing it for the first time. “What’s that?”

Daisuke’s face fell. Should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy…

“It’s another type of Digimon evolution,” Daisuke explained desperately. “We need to work together, ‘kay? You and me. We need to make our Digimon evolve together.”

“How?” Ken asked. “I-I don’t understand. How can we make them evolve together?”

“We have to want the same thing,” Daisuke told him. “Then our hearts will beat together, just like I told you.”

Ken looked up at him through the mists of confusion, his eyes wide and trusting. Daisuke squirmed a little under his gaze.

“Then....what is it we want?” Ken questioned.

“We want to defeat the stupid Guardian!” Daisuke glanced back worriedly. Even with the addition of Stingmon, the others weren’t doing well. “You want that, too, don’t you? Once we defeat him, you’ll be safe. He’ll never harm you again.”

“Never...” Ken repeated thoughtfully. He suddenly froze as the Guardian swung its head around and looked him straight in the eye. “I--I--”

“You will not escape me,” the snake hissed. “Do not delude yourself, my little one. I will kill your friends and your precious Daisuke, and then there will be nothing left but you and I.”

“Shut up, you big dork!” Daisuke turned to yell at the Guardian. The snake’s eyes narrowed and it opened its mouth. Before anyone could react, a bolt of light shot from its mouth and hit Daisuke square in the chest.

“Daisuke!!” Ken cried, shocked at the sorrow and outrage in his own voice. Daisuke was thrown into the tree and slid to the ground beside him. Kagami, who had been standing at the edge of the lake, froze and stared as Ken leaned over his fallen friend.

“D-Daisuke?” Ken ventured timidly, an unspoken terror in his voice. Daisuke forced one eye open and managed a weak smile.

“I-I’m okay,” he said softly. “I promised that no one would die, and I wouldn’t lie to you....” His eyes closed as he fell unconscious.

Ken’s fists clenched as tears came to his eyes. This was wrong, this wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. He had promised to protect Daisuke, hadn’t he? And Daisuke had been hurt.

“I won’t let it happen again,” Ken said quietly. He stood, turning defiant, red-rimmed eyes on the Guardian hovering in front of him. “Do you hear me? I won’t let you hurt them anymore!”

Stingmon and XV-mon began to glow. Ken suddenly heard a new sound in his ears. The sound of a steady, comforting heartbeat.

“XV-mon!”

“Stingmon!”

“Jogress shinka....Paildramon!”

“What....?” Ken stared at the single Digimon that had suddenly appeared. He recalled Daisuke’s earlier words to him.

Then that heartbeat I heard.... he thought, filled with a strange type of wonder. That was his heartbeat I felt. We were connected, just like he promised. I heard his heartbeat pounding in my ears like it was my own....a sound only I could hear...

A groan from behind him turned Ken’s attention away from his own thoughts and the battle. He turned and knelt back by Daisuke’s side. There was the sound of movement and another figure knelt on Daisuke’s other side. Kagami stared back at Ken out of hauntingly familiar eyes.

“I....” Ken felt that he should say something, but he didn’t know what. There was something about the creature before him that stirred memories in him. Confused and unsure, Ken lowered his head and felt a hot streak run across his face.

“Is he yours?” Kagami questioned.

“I....I don’t know,” Ken admitted. “I want him to be. I love him. And he said he loved me. He promised he’d save me. He....”

“I know how you feel,” Kagami said calmly. His eyes met Ken’s, a twin gaze. It was like two sides of a mirror looking out at each other. “But I did not know the name until you showed it to me, with your memories. “

“But--but I don’t have any memories,” Ken said.

“You did.” Kagami lowered his head and looked at Daisuke’s peaceful face. “He slapped me, you know. He was very angry, but I did not understand why. It made no sense. I was the one he loved, was I not? I was Ken Ichijouji. I had the name and the memories. But I did not have him.” He looked back at Ken. “Is that it, then? Is that love what makes you real and me only a shadow?”

“I wouldn’t know at all,” Ken said nervously. He didn’t understand what Kagami was talking about and he felt very small and stupid.

“Ah. Of course, I had nearly forgotten. That was what made him so angry, after all.” Kagami smiled softly down at Daisuke. “I wonder, too. I wonder if what I feel is something that is real or if that, too, is only something fabricated. Because I have your memories, you see, so I feel all that you felt, just in my own way. So then, are these feelings yours or mine?”

“If--if you felt them,” Ken ventured, “then aren’t they yours? I feel things too, and I’m noth--” He stopped and shook his head. “I feel things, but I can’t remember the names, if I ever knew them. And.....none of them were nice feelings until I saw him again. It was just....pain. Everything hurt. But now it doesn’t, and I feel something else. It’s love, I know it is, but I don’t know where I got the name from.” He flushed in sudden embarrassment, not quite sure what to say. “But.....they’re my feelings, no matter what. Your feelings are your own always, aren’t they? Memories can leave like mine did, but don’t emotions stay no matter what? Or....” Ken closed his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything because I don’t remember...”

“I remember,” Kagami said. “And it only makes me think more. What you said... then do you think I have emotions such as yours? Could I feel these things I have heard spoken of so much? This love....and with it grief, and happiness, sadness and fear...it seems wrong. Nothing cannot have emotions, so I cannot be nothing if I feel. But Daisuke says that I am not Ken because I do not feel the right things. What would that make me, then?”

“Wouldn’t it just make you....you?” Ken said simply, still uncomprehending. “D- do you have a name of your own?”

“Some have called me Kagami.”

“Then isn’t that who you are?”

There was a long pause. Then Kagami spoke again.

“I suppose it would be.”

“Ungh....” Another groan from Daisuke attracted their attention. The two leaned over him worriedly as Daisuke’s eyes opened. He looked first at Kagami, then his gaze traveled to Ken and he smiled.

“Told you...I was fine,” he said. Slowly Daisuke raised himself into a sitting position. He winced. “Damn, that hurt.”

“Are you all right?” Ken asked a little timidly.

“You are not broken, Daisuke?” Kagami questioned.

“I’m fine. Just a little sore.” Daisuke looked at Kagami and then at Ken. “This is really creepy.”

“Daisuke!” Hikari, Takeru, Miyako and Iori came running over to them.

“It’s not working,” Takeru said. “Even with the combined power of Silphymon, Shakkoumon and Paildramon, we still haven’t made a scratch on the Guardian.”

“Do you think Imperialdramon could help?” Daisuke mused.

“It doesn’t matter,” Miyako said. “Every time an attack hits the Guardian he just re-forms. Nothing we do is even touching him.”

“And we only have five more minutes,” Iori added. “Is that enough time to show Ken how to help Paildramon evolve?” He shook his head. “We just don’t have enough time left.”

“Then what do you want to do?!” Daisuke exploded. “Retreat? If we just go back home, you know what it’ll mean. Someone else will be sucked up by the Guardian. What if he gets hold of Ken again? Or of one of our Digimon? Then we’re right back where we started.”

“Daisuke, we’ve lost,” Miyako said darkly. “The Guardian’s taken everything we’ve thrown at him and it hasn’t even slowed him down.”

“But if we go....” Daisuke shook his head. “And there’s no way we can just throw Ken back in the lake or anything.”

The point of their conversation suddenly dawned on Ken and he backed away, looking absolutely terrified.

“We’re not going to do that,” Hikari assured him. She looked back at Daisuke. “We don’t want to retreat any more than you do, Daisuke. But we don’t have a choice.”

“You cannot retreat?” Kagami questioned. “Why? What holds you here?”

“If we go and leave the Guardian here, alive, then someone else will be dragged into the lake,” Daisuke said gravely. “Gennai said there has to be someone in the lake for the Guardian to prey on or the balance will be all out of whack. If we take Ken, someone else, either human or Digimon, has to take his place.”

“But--that’s awful,” Ken said raggedly. “We can’t run away and leave someone here! It....it hurts so much, being trapped in there...” His haunted eyes traveled over to the surface of the water and he began to tremble. “I couldn’t stand it, leaving someone in there to suffer like that. It’s worse than death.”

“There’s no choice,” Takeru said. “I’m sorry, Ken. Maybe we can get back here another time and finish what we started.”

“That will not be necessary.” Kagami spoke up unexpectedly and everyone stared uncomprehendingly at him. He glanced down at Daisuke. “You are sure of this? That one innocent will suffer if the Guardian’s hunger is not sated?”

“Well...yeah. I guess.”

“And this angers you?”

“Of course,” Daisuke said. “I don’t want anyone to suffer. I wouldn’t be a very nice person if I did.”

“I see.” Kagami turned to Ken. “But you suffered this, did you not? Because of me. I caused all this.”

“You did?” Ken asked. “W-wasn’t it me? Wasn’t it my fault for being rescued and not staying where I belong?”

“You did not belong there. You are not nothing.” Kagami reached forward and cradled Ken’s head in his hands. “I am.....sorry. Something has changed. I believe that I am...grieving? Something has been broken. I must repair it. And so I shall.” He leaned over and pressed his lips to Ken’s forehead.

Pain exploded in Ken’s head as pictures and feelings rushed through him, seeping inside. He cried out and fell backwards, pressing his hands up to the sides of his head as the tide of memories rushed through him.

“Ken!” Daisuke looked first at his friend, then at Kagami. “What did you do?”

Kagami smiled sadly. His complexion had gone to an unhealthy grayish color and his eyes had changed from violet to dark blue. Daisuke had the strange notion that Kagami suddenly looked much less....real than before.

“I have only returned that which I took.” Kagami stood, then turned to face the Guardian.

“....Wait.” At the weak voice behind him, Kagami turned. Ken sat with his back against the tree, his face pale and drawn, shivering slightly from the cold and exertion. “You don’t have to do this.”

Kagami shook his head.

“It is the only way. I have caused all this pain. I did not realize...” He sighed. “You have given me a great gift, Ken Ichijouji. For a brief time, I was not nothing. This is truly something to be treasured. I hope you will accept my apology and grant me your forgiveness. I am the cause of your pain and distress, and I believe I must have a....conscience? Is that the word? The memory is very distant now...”

Daisuke glanced back at Ken, whose thoughtful gaze was locked with Kagami’s.

He can’t forgive him, can he? Daisuke wondered. Ken nearly died. The way he was acting, it must’ve been Hell in that lake. How could he forgive Kagami for trapping him there? Then again... a small voice in the back of his mind whispered, who knows the value of forgiveness better than Ken?

“Of course,” Ken said, nodding his head weakly. “My offer still stands. I--I’ll be your friend still, if you want.” He looked back towards the Guardian, who was watching them impassively as the Digimon uselessly continued their attacks. “I know how it feels now. What it feels like to be cut off from everything and to be empty....and nothing...” He shuddered, his frail body shaking like a candle flame in the wind. “I never want to feel that again. I’d die first.”

“I thank you.” Kagami’s gaze flickered briefly over to Daisuke. “I see now. I understand what you said. I was never Ken Ichijouji. I must make my own memories.” He put a hand to his heart. “This experience is my own. I will keep it here, and carry it forever.”

Then Kagami turned and walked to the lake edge, where he bowed before the Guardian.

“My master.”

“Yes.” The Guardian smiled. The Digimon, at a wave from their partners, de-evolved and joined the children by the tree. “Come to me.”

“I am yours.” Kagami turned and looked back at Ken and Daisuke, who were watching him wide-eyed. “Perhaps...perhaps someday, Daisuke, I too will find one whose heart can beat with mine.”

Then the Guardian wrapped around him, gently, leading him into the water. As Kagami walked deeper into the lake, his body slowly started to lose its shape, until at last he was nothing more than a shimmering, unidentifiable liquid form. The Guardian opened its mouth and dived in upon the shape, and both disappeared under the surface.

Then the lake was still. For a long moment, no one spoke. Finally, Iori found his voice.

“....Two minutes.”

“Right.” Daisuke nodded and started to get to his feet. He glanced over at the still-shaking Ken and impulsively pulled off his flame-marked coat, wrapping it about the pale boy’s shoulders. Daisuke helped Ken up and turned to his companions. “Let’s get out of here.”

The entire group rose, quiet and subdued. Mirror Lake was deceptively calm; it suddenly looked like a normal, harmless body of water. It made Ken want to throw up.

Daisuke led the group away at a fast pace, not wanting to stay any longer than necessary. He had one arm wrapped around Ken’s waist to support him; Ken was still trembling violently and holding Wormmon in an iron-tight grip.

Ken was still unsure on his feet, and he was feeling very tired, as the events of the last few days started to catch up with him. Wormmon was a warm and comforting presence, and the sight of the others nearby helped ease the chill that still hung around him.

They all came, he thought, wearily laying his head on Daisuke’s shoulder, his eyes half-closed. Daisuke was the only one I remembered, the only one I was waiting for, but they all came. They all cared enough to come rescue me. He held Wormmon closer, feeling the numbness start to fade from his skin.

“There it is,” Hikari said, and Ken forced his eyes open. Hovering before them was a strange hole in space, through which he could see the comforting colors of the Digital World. The edges of the hole were blurry and indistinct, and it made Ken’s eyes hurt to look at them.

“Just a little farther, Ken,” Daisuke said comfortingly, tightening his grip around Ken’s waist. Ken looked up weakly into Daisuke’s face and managed a smile. Daisuke led him through the hole and suddenly he was outside where it was warmer and more familiar.

When the last of the group had returned to the Digital World, Gennai dropped the Digicore. It had shrunk to almost nothing, and Gennai’s face was covered with sweat.

“You cut that very close,” Gennai told them. “But at least you all made it out.”

“Yeah,” Miyako said in a subdued voice. “All of us.”

“We should probably take Ken home now,” Daisuke decided. “How’s that sound, Ken?”

There was no answer. He glanced over at his friend, only to see that Ken had fallen fast asleep, his head still resting on Daisuke’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Daisuke answered himself, smiling fondly at Ken. “I guess that sounds fine.”